tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3285705556039241258.post7549515639617639607..comments2023-08-11T12:16:13.605-04:00Comments on The Attached Feminist: Your Fourth?? some cultural musings...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3285705556039241258.post-84934112352988831162009-10-02T21:37:59.151-04:002009-10-02T21:37:59.151-04:00I LOVE your boys. You do make GREAT boys. I would...I LOVE your boys. You do make GREAT boys. I wouldn't give/get so much love if they weren't in my life.<br /><br />As a mom who "thinks" about more kids, I know I respond funny to people who have more than two because I know my own energy level, and my own abilities...this in psych is called "transference" and it isn't nice to do to others. Also I know I have responded weird (not bad just slow) to my friends 3rd, because I was operating under the "two and done" misconception. And the misconception was undermined further by that irritating "transference."<br /><br />That being said, when/if I get my next two, they would most likely be adopted and significantly different visually, so I wonder how that would fly with other parents/community.<br /><br />I have a caucasian friend married to a man from the philipines and she gets asked how her adoption went. We do make an awful lot of assumptions in this culture in particular, and the way to get around it I think is to have a very diverse group of mother friends--race, age, # of children, source of children (the list in your post) etc.<br /><br />When a 35 yr old has an 18 yr old, a 9 yr old and a 4 yr old there are questions and raised eyebrows. When a family has multiple ethnicities there are more raised eyebrows.<br /><br />Your statement about being open to a wider range of what constitutes family is the point that supports being aware of our assumptions.<br /><br />I WANT to be the strong powerful woman who can *think*, have a healthy relationship with her husband and (adult) family, AND pull off so freakinly amazingly FOUR Children (he he and cats)...and you are so graceful (?successful?calm puppet master but they aren't puppets....) You are amazing and everyone should be so lucky to have a YOU in their life...not to mention your boys and #4 ;) <br /><br />I look up to you for helping redefine "success in homemaking" "success" "woman" "elegance" "openness" and for giving such concrete examples of how to live the very important part of life: people, namely your very own miracles, and the care with which you and K raise them.<br /><br />I LOVE YOU!<br />and my little men and tiny woman :)<br />xoxoxoxo <br />Um, is a blog an appropriate place to put hugs and kisses? If not, maybe you can sensor stuff out. I miss you! <br />Love<br />TiciUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04003829208118030041noreply@blogger.com